My civilian friends about hentai video work
It wasn’t until I got into the industry that I realized how much erotic video work and being queer had in common. I’d heard the phrase “gay for pay” before, but it seemed to me that most people in the erotic video industry were actually “gay for pay”. I was so happy to learn that many of my friends in the hentai video industry are pornographically hot or sexual and that many of us are not heterosexual.
When I talk to my civilian friends about hentai video work, I find that they too have no idea that the majority of hentai video workers are queer. I’m surprised by her surprise now because years later I’ve realized that it makes a lot of sense.
Being queer means existing outside of societal norms. From our bodies to our relationships to our families, we don’t fit into the models we’ve been taught are normal. That’s why I think we’re attracted to people who are also marginalized. I strongly believe that experiences of exclusion, whatever they may be, can foster a special affinity, solidarity, and empathy with other marginalized people.
My friends and clients know that I have a very passionate love. I was already out when I got into this industry. Some people, like me, enter the industry already identifying as queer, but others discover their queerness by working on pornvelly videos. Our professions often involve sexual interactions with people of the same sex, and some of us work exclusively with clients of the same sex.
I often wonder about this connection. It’s almost a chicken-and-egg situation. Does working with porn reveal my queerness, or did my queerness lead me to work with pornvelly? Is there no direct causal relationship at all? There’s no clear answer, but it’s clear to me that the two heavily influence and feed into each other. Because I am openly gay in my advertising, I feel that clients of all genders feel safe and can explore their potential gayness through imagination and curiosity. It also allows them to ask real questions, broadening their understanding of queerness and making them better allies. I recognize that it is a privilege to be in the business I do, and I want to use that privilege to have conversations with curious clients and share my experiences.
For me, being queer has more to do with how I interact with people and the world in general than with whom I watch porn videos with. It shapes my political views, how I treat my body, and how I perceive others. My clients often value my body hair and are curious about my decision to stop removing it. While body hair does not define someone’s queerness, my decision is intimately connected to my queerness and the evolution of how I view my body. When clients tell me they are not used to seeing women with body hair, I often respond that I am, thanks to my many queer friends and acquaintances. It also means that I see everybody I come into contact with, sexual or not, as beautiful and in need of care. My body is far from normal, and it has been a long journey to get to a place where I can love it and treat it with kindness. Both my queerness and my work with pornvelly videos have been central to this journey.
In queer spaces, hentai video workers can still be excluded or marginalized, even though many of us worked in hentai video at one time or another. Similar situations exist in the kink and pornvelly hot love communities, which overlap and intersect with the queer community. There is often a gulf between us and the civilians in these communities who try to distance themselves from us, because there is sex that is considered good, and what we do (get paid for).
I would argue that queer hentai video workers are not only central to the queer, kink, and pornvelly hot love communities, but that we should be at the forefront of these communities. Many aspects of these cultures, from slang to aesthetics, have their origins in the culture of erotic video workers, particularly black shemale erotic video workers, who have paved the way for our community to come together and celebrate as openly as we do. We also need to remember that the fight is not over.
I love that there is a lot of overlap between erotic video work and queerness, and what I love even more is that in every queer, hentai, or pornvelly sexual romance space I’m in, there is always someone asking, “Yeah, but what about erotic video workers?”
